A revision which fixes both problems might look like the below.We evaluated the material of the basis of strength, flexibility, and cost.A reader may have to re-read, be forced to use too many context clues to understand what is being said, or make an undue amount of inferences.
Vary sentence lengths according to needs of section. Strengthen the Grammatical Core of the sentence (Subject-Verb-Object): The subject (actor), the verb (action), and the object (what the actor performs the action on) constitute the grammatical core of the sentence, but the real subject, verb and object is often buried by complex or elaborate sentence structures.
Whenever possible: Evaluation of the material was performed on the basis of strength, flexibility, and cost.
For example, if your paper recommends a solution (its main claim), one supporting claim would be that Solution X has certain benefits.
In order for that supporting claim to be warranted, you would have to provide sources or data from your own work that confirm those benefits. Check Against Your Outline: Begin the revision process by comparing your first draft to your outline, and asking the following questions: After this stage, you may choose to move sections around, add or subtract information.
Each section of the paper should be doing something to support this claim. Identifying and Checking Support for Major Claims: The main claim of the paper will be supported by sub-claims; these will need to be adequately supported as well.
Ensure that you’ve provided sufficient supporting data (your own or from others) and explained how that information supports your claims.
That means that readers need to store three lines of information in memory until they get to this verb, which gives them the information needed to process the long noun phrase.
This thesis studies the influence of physiochemical properties of microbial floc, namely extracellular polymeric substances (EPS) and hydrophobicity, on ultraviolet (UV) disinfection of sequencing batch reactor effluent. The ASAP Principle: Avoid elaborate sentence structure, unless necessary. What about: This thesis provides a foundation for improving the circuit board manufacturing process.
Essentially, you’re re-evaluating your original outline from a different perspective (after you’ve written the draft). Identify and Evaluate Transitional Strategies: Transitions are the points at which we move between ideas in writing.
They play a particularly important role in between sections and paragraphs, but operate within paragraphs as well.